We gotta get outta this place

from Saturday, June 30, 2007

Today has been an uneventful, yet eventful day indeed. The journey between Siem Reap, Cambodia and Bangkok, Thailand is notorious (among backpackers in SE Asia, anyway) for being a hell of a ride. The Lonely Planet Guidebook refers to it as "The Boulevard of Broken Backsides." Not exactly a journey anyone looks forward to.

Of course, one could fly. . .and that's what they're banking on. Evidently some sneaky airline company is paying off the Cambodian government to stall an upgrade on the heavily trafficed road between Siem Reap and Poipet (a small Cambodian city next to the Thai border). During the wet season (July thru October) the road is so flooded and muddy it can take days to get to the border. Thank God it's not yet the wet season.

Just to note: The distance from Siem Reap to Poipet is roughly 100 miles and from Poipet to Bangkok about another 100 miles. All together 200 miles. It is my estimation that in America, traveling 200 miles, by car or bus, between two major cities would take four hours or less. On our trip we had to go through customs, so that adds another hour. Five hours tops. But this is not America.

6:40am We are picked up by a shuttle that will take us to our bus.

6:45am We stop at a guesthouse to pick up some people.

6:55am We stop at another guesthouse to pick up some people.

7:10am We stop at another guesthouse to pick up some people.

7:25am Yes! We arrive at the bus station, just in time for our 7:30 departure. Oh, no! Only people going to Phnom Penh get off here. We must go somewhere else to catch the bus to Poipet.

7:40am We arrive at the proper place and soon board the bus. We hit the road just before 8am. The bus has air-conditioning, one of modern day life's small miracles.

8:30am Bus driver stops the bus, gets out, and looks under the bus. He looks worried.

9:05am see previous

9:10am Bus driver stops near a village to put on the spare. Two male, Cambodian passengers help him. None of the dozen foreign men lift a finger.

9:55am We are on the road again.

10:45am We stop at a series of concession stands frequented by those traveling through. As soon as we get off the bus it pulls away. We hope its going to get the tire replaced and that we haven't been left stranded in rural Cambodia.

11:20am The bus is back. We're off!

12:00pm The road is bumpy in a vibrating kind of way (think rumble strips on the side of the freeway) with the occassional big bump (think speed bump in a parking lot), but otherwise its smooth sailing. However, some idiot has his window open and it's 100 degrees on the bus!!

12:30pm I spoke too soon. There is another flat tire. The spare needs to be put on and people are not happy. I'm rather amused. One girl starts nagging at the driver while he's changing the tire in the blistering heat. Not a good idea. Words are exchanged which leads to the girl's boyfriend stepping in. There is almost, ALMOST a fist fight.

12:50pm Here we go!

1:00pm We stop at a restaurant. We know the drill. . .the bus has left us yet again to change the flat to a new tire. I eat yucky Ramen-like noodles. Flashbacks to the UWM dorms.

1:30pm On the road again.

3:30pm We arrive in Poipet!!! Two flat tires and 8 hours later. Get me into freakin' Thailand!

4:30pm Got through customs. We are now in a huge, comfy, air-conditioned coach bus and on our way to Bangkok. The roads are paved and there's nothing that can stop us now.

9:00pm Actually, there is something that can stop us. Bangkok traffic. Every hour is rush hour here. But we are nearly downtown.

10:30pm After getting a ride from downtown to our guesthouse I can now safely say we have made it!!

more of the story (trekking Thai style)

I've been home for just over a month now and I don't want to leave things unfinished, so I will try to recap the rest of my trip over the next few blogs.

From my journal: Saturday, June 9th

We've had an exhausting couple of days. Yesterday our trekking guide, a local Thai woman named Chan, picked us up at our guesthouse at 8:30. She dropped us off at a nearby mountain top temple while she went to go register her truck with the local authorities. Not the most professional thing to do, but we are in Asia so it wasn't too surprising. After wandering around the quaint Buddhist temple Chan picked us up and took us to her village, on the outskirts of the town. From there we hiked for ages, past farmers and fields and through small streams. My socks were soaked and we were fighting of mosquitos at every turn. It was exhausting. We eventually stopped for lunch by one of the many streams. I sat on a dirty log while Chan whiddled us some spoons out of bamboo. We dined on delicious rice she had cooked that morning and mangos she picked along the way.

The trek didn't become any easier from there. We climbed up and down the mountain sides and the mosquitos were eating Katalin alive. We asked Chan if malaria was prevelent in the area. "Yes, you can get a little bit of malaria," she replied. A little bit of malaria? That sounds like a little bit too much for my liking. But my immediate concern was the dirty sweat running down every crevice of my body. I wasn't the only one suffering. Chan's dog, who had followed us the whole way, was also completely exhausted. He was having trouble keeping up. But Chan assured us we were nearing the Karen (long neck) village. She was hardly breaking a sweat!

As we descended the final mountain we spotted an elephant in the river below. When we at last arrived at the Karen village, Chan left us to get her truck (her friend came to pick her up via motorbike). The Karen village was small. I felt rather uncomfortable entering it. . .there's a fine line between being a tourist and being a spectator. I know the Karen's are accustom to tourism and it's their livelihood, but I'm undecided whether that's good or bad. The tribe has sought political asylum in Thailand from their native country of Burma. Now they have more comfortable lives, but they must share those lives with hordes of tourists.

All the women there were selling crafts, mostly handmade woven scarves. The first women we saw was gorgeous. She looked so young, but said she was thirty and her 7-year-old daughter sat with her. Both had gold coils around their necks. The coils push down the collarbone and the ribs to create the appearance of a long neck. They aren't exactly sure how the custom began, but it's believe to have been around for nearly one thousand years.

After leaving the village we sat aroudn waiting for Chan for over one hour. The road (ok, really it's more like a path) up the mountain had been under construction and she had trouble getting her truck through. But really that's small potatos compared to the waiting we did today. . .

We began this morning with a one-hour elephant ride. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Ok, I am sure. I feel a bit guilty. Katalin points out that people ride horses all the time. But I still feel bad these huge and amazing animals are being taken out of their natural environment. The ride itself was rather terrifying. The man who guided our elephant sat on the elephant's head while humping it, which gets the elephant moving. Strange.

Once the ride ended Chan was suppose to be waiting for us at the designated ending point. Surprise, surprise, she wasn't there. After waiting an hour by the side of a rustic road, we asked some local girls to give us ride back into town (about 3 miles). There was a flurry of excitement amoung them and I'm almost sorry to say that just as we got on the backs of the bikes Chan pulled up. Chan was as apologetic as an Asian can be (admiting to fault usually means losing face, not good.) She even bought us lunch to compensate.

The rest of the trek was pretty low key. We insisted Chan drives us everywhere after all the hellish walking we did yesterday. Next we visited another ethnic village, the Lisu tribe. They lived, like the Karens, in a small and humble village. The men were away farming and the women and child hung around the village huts. They also sold crafts. Last we went to a country club and had a bath in a mineral pool (for just $1.50!). The pool and its surrounding were gorgeous-paradise.

Land of Smiles

I'm 11 days into my trip to Southeast Asia. I've written and erased this sentence several times now. . . I don't know what to say. I'm not really sure how to begin, but due to Kerri and Alex's pleas for me to write a new blog, I feel compeled to do it.

The best place to start is the beginning, which would be Beijing. I meet up with Katalin, my partner in crime on this trip. Our train left for Xiamen (a smallish port city in Southeastern China) around noon on Monday, June 28th. In our car, and probably the entire train, we were the only foreigners.

We had 31 hours to kill and I filled most of my time by looking out the window. As we headed south everything changed-lush green trees took the place of the dry, brown scenery of the north. Instead of mountains, there were terraced rice patties. We were in a sleeper car (pictured above) which allowed us to lay down whenever we wanted. A few hours before our arrival in Xiamen the train unexpectedly stopped. I had the misfortune of looking out the window at this moment. I don't know if how appropriate is to explain what I saw. It was undoubtedly the most horrific thing I've ever seen. A woman used our train to take her own life. It seemed surreal, unbelieveable. But what was more tragic was how the people around us reacted-with complete indifference. One old woman laughed as Katalin cried. It was the worst possible way to begin a vacation, but it made taking some time away from China seem like a blessing.

We arrived in Xiamen at 7pm on the 29th. It was a great relief to get off the train and Xiamen did a lot to lift my spirits. Our guesthouse was on a small island, free of vehicles, just off shore of the main city. We took the ferry over and marveled at the beauty of it. The island was once settled by Europeans and the entire place was full European architecture (see picture below), a nice break from the dirty highrises of Beijing.

After one night in Xiamen we were off to Bangkok, the capital of Thailand, for a mere $60. We arrived a little before midnight and the heat and humidity was suffocating. I have never experienced anything like it, and I assure you it is not pleasant. Once we got to our guesthouse, we hit up the nearby 7/11 for some foreign snacks (although there wasn't much exciting besides finding Coke Zero). The 7/11 is to Thailand what Starbucks is to America, there's no escaping it even if you try.

We spent the next two days sweating our asses off, occassionally stopping in the nearest mall or 7/11 to indulge in the wonder known as central air-conditioning. We were unable to visit any temples because we were inappropriately dressed, only sleeved shirts and pants are allowed in Bangkok temples. It's such an unfair custom in a country that is always repressingly hot! We did manage to eat lots of delicious street food. . .sweet rice and banana wrapped in banana leaves, exotic fruits, pork sausage filled with glass noodles, and puffy fried balls of seafood. It tastes better than it sounds!

Before we had time to settle into the city, it was time to move on to the next. We traveled by train to Ayutthaya, a city about 40 miles north of Bangkok. We found a charming tek style guesthouse next to the river that surrounds the town. Then we rented some bikes and explored the city center, which is filled with ancient temple ruins (below). Since we are traveling during low season, we've often had the luck of being the only people exploring the sites. We did spot a few other tourists, some of which traveled for temple to temple via elephant.

June 4th. . .we moved on again, this time to Sukhothai. A city also known for it's ancient temple ruins. We made the mistake of buying third class train tickets on a rather slow train. It took over 5 hot, sweaty, hours to travel about 150 miles. We vowed from that point on to only take air-conditioned modes of transport! The next morning was filled with more bike riding and temple exploring. I definitely was starting to feel a bit like Lara Craft or Indiana Jones. But the feeling didn't last long as we had to get moving to the next city-Chiang Mai.

Chiang Mai is loved by Thais; it is known as the country's cultural center. I can understand why, it's filled with fun things to satisfy anybody: bars, restaurants, temples, spas, cooking schools, and Thai boxing centers. We opted for spas and cooking. The first day in town we went for Royal Thai massages ($8, one hour. I love this country!!) The second day we took an all day cooking course ($24) to learn how to prepare several Thai dishes (pictured below). I can happily say that I did not burn anything or chop off any fingers and all my food tasted delicious!

That brings us to today. This morning we took a 25 minute flight to Mae Hong Son, a very small town (only 6000 people) in Northern Thailand near the Burmese border. Had we traveled by bus it would take nearly 8 hours because the town is in the middle of the mountains. We were able to explore the whole city by foot, but the real fun begins tomorrow. We are going on a trek to the nearby Karen village. The Karen are an ethnic minority originally from Burma, though many are living in Thailand as refugees. They are very famous because the Karen women wear gold coils around their neck, thus lengthening it. I'm living in an issue of National Geographic!

pangzi

Pangzi, meaning fatty or fat-so, is definitely how I've felt lately. Now I'm not the type of girl to moan about my weight and how I need to "go on a diet," but being surrounded by a few million size 0 Chinese women can be a bit of a blow to the self-esteem. Usually I can overcome my insecurities by reassuring myself that I am different. I am an American of German ancestry. I am naturally big-boned. I come from the land of deep fried cheese and butter burgers. But then there are certain situations in which this denial/optomism just isn't enough. Here are some cases I've encountered over the past two years:

Case 1: I need to find a pair of jeans. A fairly simple task in America. I can go into The Gap, grab a size 8 (a normal, medium size) and call it a day. But it's so much more complicated here. Trying on jeans at any trendy Chinese store amounts to craming my thighs into a pair of flares that are usually a foot too long for me. After trying on three pairs I generally leave in utter disgust. So, what to do? Afterall, a girl needs pants. There's really only two options: return to the motherland and seek out the nearest Gap or go to the "Big and Fat" shop. Big and Fat shop it is. Here I found myself knee deep in rejects/imperfects from American stores that most likely produce their clothes in China. I happened to come across a pair of American Eagle girl's khakis, size 2. Are you kidding me? I then came across a size 8, only to find it had an elastic waistband. Abort mission. Abort mission. Abort mission.

Case 2: I need some new underwear. As with jeans and pants, finding underwear in America is no big thing. Anywhere I go a size medium will do. In China, whole different story. I was at the store with Ming and picked up a box of 3 pairs, size large.

"Honey, those won't be big enough, try these," he says as he throws me a different box. Size XXL. Extra, extra large? Is this some kind of cruel joke?

"How about I go for the extra large?" I ask him meekly, already knowing the anwer.

XXL. And they ended up being a little tight.

Case 3: I go out to dinner with a close Chinese friend, CiCi. She is cute, sweet, and weights about 90 pounds. We are having a good time, laughing, eating pizza. I realize I shouldn't be eating the pizza, of course, because I can hardly fit into my XXL undies, but everyone needs an occassional indulgence. I try not to feel too guilty. I promise myself I will do 150 sit-ups a night for the next month and from now-on I will walk to the far away grocery store instead of the one down the alley from my apartment. Ah, yes, I will be 115 pounds in no-time. But then I am brought back down to earth when we leave the restaurant. CiCi suddenly turns to me and says, "My, you've gotten fatter, haven't you?" I nearly burst into tears.

Case 4: I am teaching my high school students about student life in America. In China, during the week students only have time for class and to study. The only time for sports is on Sundays or during their ten minute break between classes. Most of them like sports and are in awe over the variety of sports and extra-curriculars American high school students enjoy. One students innocently asked me what kind of sports I played in high school. I explained to my class that I didn't play sports, but was involved in other things such as student council and art. To this one (male) student shouted out, "Oh, so that's why you're so fat!" Perhaps, perhaps.

A Day Away

I've found myself in a rather obsure place in north central China. I'm sitting in an internet cafe right now and there is a guy standing behind watching intently as I type. All day I've been feeling a bit self-conscious. I'm away from my comfort zone, away from Beijing. I'm in a place that doesn't see a lot of foreigners. Their not afraid to point, laugh, or yell "hello" when I walk by.

So how did I get here? I decided with my current wealth of free time, I owe it to myself to get away and see something new. On Wednesday I purchased my $15 train ticket to Pingyao. It sounded like a fairly interesting place from its description in the LP (Lonely Planet Guidebook). "The only place in China with its ancient city walls still intact" and, as a special bonus, it is not far from Beijing. That was enough; I was sold.

I arrived at the train station late yesterday afternoon. Maybe I've said this before, but you can't truly appreciate how many people are in the world until you find yourself in a Chinese train station. Or a Chinese subway. Or a Chinese bus. Or on any average street in China. At Beijing West Station, there are at least 8 waiting rooms. Each is the size of a high school auditorium. Each is packed with people. There are people sitting in the chairs, people sitting on the ground, people laying on the ground, people standing. There is barely room to move. I made the tragic mistake of arriving an hour and a half early.

I got on the train around 6:30. As I walked through the carriage, all eyes were on me. "Let our beautiful foreign friend through," one older lady said in Chinese as I tried to squeeze by. I'm pretty sure her husband made a derogatory comment. It's moments like those that I pray for fluency so that I can one day take them by surprise with a sassy comeback. But that day has definitely not come. Defeated, I climbed up to my upper bunk and settled in for the 10 hour ride. The train was off by 7:00 and I passed out soon after.

I was woken by one of the train attendents. It was nearly 5am, almost time for my stop. I got out of bed and realized I was the only person she had woken up. I was the only person in the carriage getting off at this particular stop. Where was I? What the hell did I think I was doing? My stomach dropped and a little panic set in. It was pitch black outside still. The train was beginning to slow. I was hoping to see the lights of a nearby city, but nothing. I quickly scanned my LP-how big was this place? Pingyao: population 40,000. Forty-thousand people! In China, that's barely worth a dot on the map.

I got off the train and looked around. From the entire train, only a hand full of other people got off. I exited the station and was immediately approached by a sea of touts.

"Hello!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Come! Come to my hotel!"

"I already have a hotel booked," I explained in Chinese.

"You come with me. Five yuan (60 cents). I give you ride."

I didn't have the strength to argue. So I settle for a ride to my hotel. The sun is beginning to rise. I can do this afterall! I checked into the cute courtyard hotel. Only $3.75 for a bed. Granted, the place smells a bit like pee, but what it lacks in smell it makes up in charm. After a quick (ok, 5 hour) nap, I hit the streets and walked around. The streets are cobbled and lined with little shops selling tea, "antiques," shoe insoles, and lots of other fabulous crap. This is what I call vacation.

Please press one for English

I arrived at Milwaukee's Mitchell airport at 7:15 on Monday morning. Two hours early for my international flight. I walked up to United's check-in. To my astonishment, no one was in line. Just me.

Despite being the only customer in sight, the clerk persuaded me to use the "easy check-in kiosk." He came up next to me to guide me through the menu. After touching the screen, a list of nearly a dozen languages appeared.

"So, what language are we speakin' today?" the clerk asked with a chuckle.

I tried to think of a clever reply, but it was 7 in the morning. "I guess I'll go for English," I replied.

"Some guy got really angry about this the other day. He said, 'This is America. English should be the only option!'" he told me.

This made me seethe. Perhaps because my fiance speaks a different language. Perhaps because I was about to go back to a country where I'm often lost in its language.

"Well, this is a country full of lots of different types of people," I finally sputtered.

"Yeah, and this is an airport! Of course there's people from all over the world traveling through here," the clerk added.

Victory. He had sided with me. But then I thought about it. How did I really feel? I have to admit that there was a little part of me that was nervous when I noticed espanol written on the back of a Lean Cuisine. If Spanish is being used to tell us how to microwave things, then it must be almost everywhere. And, at least in Milwaukee, it is.

America is quite unique in its size and diverisity. Amazingly, despite all its different people, you can travel from coast to coast and speak one language the entire way. This came at quite a cost. We wiped out almost an entire race of people to achieve this, plus most of our ancestors were forced to part with their native tongue. Language is one of few things that unite us as a country. We come from different races, cultures, and religions. Maybe we shouldn't be willing to part with the one thing that most of us have in common.

Living in China, I can also relate to the other side of the coin. It's comforting to see a sign in English. To find a map in English. Directions in English. A person who speaks English. If I see two similar products, but one has an English description, I will naturally pick the one I can read. It's too scary to imagine what I might be getting otherwise (ketchup flavored potato chips-no thank you). Unless you have lived in a country in which you cannot read or speak language, you cannot imagine how vulnerable this can make you feel. But no matter how scary or frustrating it may be, it was my choice to come here not speaking a word of Chinese.

holla back y'all

Monday night I arrived in Chicago. It was a great feeling. . .to be in my motherland after being away for 11 months. I was also feeling relieved. For the first time in ages I didn't feel fat. In fact, the first thing I noticed when I walked through the airport is how fat other people are. This may sound a tad insulting and also a wee-bit obvious (ok, yeah, us Americans are fat, what's new?) but after being surrounded by 5 foot 90 pound Asian women for an entire year, this is a breath of fresh air. I'm no longer the tubbiest one in the room, in fact I probably on the smaller end. Or at least that's what I like to believe.

There are so many little things I'm happy to endulge in now that I'm home. Being with friends and family, of course, but there are so many everyday comforts and habits I'm happy to go back to. Not carrying around toliet paper everywhere I go because bathrooms here actually supply that for me. Being able to walk around the house in bare feet. Not having to wash my hands obsessively. Applying the 5 second rule. . .the floor's not that dirty after all. Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper. Life is good! I almost cried the other day when I saw a big, red barn with a silo next to it. Wide open spaces. Clean air. Cows. Things I haven't seen in ages now are all around me. The best is English. Glorious English. I can read every word on every sign and eavesdrop on any conversation at any time. I can say words like "bling," "phat," and "holla back y'all" and though I may sound ridiculous, people know what I'm talking about. Ah, yes, it's good to be home.

out with the dog, in with the pig

Big class at Richland, last day of class

No fear, this is not about a recent meal. Rather, it's about the holiday season that has descended upon China. It is just about that time for the Chinese New Year. This year it falls on February 18th and on that day The Year of the Pig will officially begin. For those of you born mid-Feb 1983-early Feb 1984, this is your year. Congratulations. It only comes around once every 12 years. My year, the dog, is coming to its end.

Holidays in China are a strange thing. Western holidays are really starting to take over. Christmas is a big one, of course. New Year's (as we all know it) is also celebrated. Valentine's Day was yesterday, and that's increasing in popularity. But the Chinese seem to celebrate these holidays in a half-assed way. They don't really know the meaning behind them (but then again, sometimes I'm not sure if we do either), but do it because it's interesting. The Chinese New Year, however, is much more sacred. This is one monster of a holiday. This is my first time in China during the Chinese New Year and it's a very odd feeling being here.

In a country with 1.3 billion people, there are always people about. But where I live, it's starting to feel like a bit of a ghost town. I can compare it to Christmas or Thanksgiving Day, or a Sunday afternoon in Wisconsin when the Packers are having a great season (I've almost forgotten what that was like). Everyone is at home. Stores are empty, if they are even open. There's not a lot of traffic. This is what it feels like.

This is my last week teaching and the children are in the "it's-almost-time-for-holiday" mode in which they are hyper and don't want to do much of anything. A lot of the children aren't even in class because their parent's have taken them back home for the holidays. It seems that most people that live in Beijing aren't actually from Beijing. Almost all of my Chinese co-workers are from different cities and this is one of few times during the year that everyone can go to their hometowns to be with their families. The lines at train ticket offices are ridiculously long. Most trains have standing room only, if that. Buses heading out of town are jam-packed. Everyone in the country is either migrating back to where they came from or going on vacation.

But I am here, alone, stuck in Beijing until Monday. The day after the New Year. Ming left this morning to go back to Chengde to be with his mom. I'll have to experience this holiday alone, which is a little depressing since it is a family holiday. It's kinda like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the 4th of July all wrapped up into one. Children get gifts, mostly red envelopes with 100 RMB ($12) from all their relatives. There's tons of food. And finally, as I've already begun to notice, there are LOTS of fireworks. For such an important holiday, there are few decorations to be seen, mostly pigs, pigs, and more pigs.

Are you black?

not just the cat is black. . .

Was watching "Friends" yesterday...usually not the most thought provoking show, but Ming manages to make things interesting by asking me questions. Although "Friends" doesn't exactly reflect the realities of American culture and society (let's not even get started on how nice their apartments are. And have you ever met anyone as flaky as Phoebe?), it does bring up some differences between China and America. The first thing that shocked Ming when he first started watching the show was how much the characters talk about sex. The topic of sex is forbidden on Chinese television and naturally mention of menage-a-tois, masturbation, girl-on-girl action and the like is not allowed. Imagine America TV without these things. . . .

While this is all shocking enough, there's more. So let us rewind to what particular episode we were watching last night. It was the one in which Rachel and Ross bring little baby Emma home from the hospital. They aren't married, of course, which to the average American isn't all that scandalous. Ming was quite taken aback by all this though. He asked me if the baby was "Black." Excuse me? Black? You mean, like, African American?

But he didn't mean that Black. He meant the "Black List" kinda black. The kind of black that means scorned, sneered at, and kicked to the curb. In China, if you are born to unwedded parents you are considered an illegitimate "Black." You aren't allowed any legal identification which means you cannot attend school, cannot work, cannot marry, cannot do anything. In China, poor little baby Emma would be a Black. And guess what-so would I. Or maybe not. Maybe my parents would have married for my sake. In China a lot of unhappy marriage must begin this way and later end inevitably in divorce.

The level of conservativeness here is a bit mind-blowing at times. I was really upset recently when I read an article about the regulations changing for adopting Chinese babies. People who are not married, people who are obese, and people who are taking anti-depressents will no longer be able to adopt a baby from China. This is quite a blow to gay and lesbian couples. It's no good news for neither those with extra poundage nor those who are TREATING a common disorder. I can sometimes overcome my frustration with a simple, "Not my country, not my problem." That's not a great stance to take, of course, but I also see how China is developing which gives me some hope that human rights will improve. But really, who would have guessed that all of this would have come from watching "Friends?"

China Rage

It's been awhile, yet again. It's not that there's been no time to write. I have plenty these days. And it's not because there's nothing to bitch about. There's definitely things. But they changed the blogger site around (and it's completely in Chinese) so it took a lot of trial and error and swearing to figure out how to get into my account.

Now I'm in. phew. I was beginning to think the Chinese government shut me down due to all my sarcasm and clothing jabs. Evidently they're thinking of making all Chinese blogs be tied to a "real name" so that people will practice "responsible blogging." In other words, they can be tracked down and killed if they say anything to offend the wrong peps.

Just another thing to add to my list of Chinese grievances. I'll share my abridged list with you now:

1. People skipping in line. Particularly, people who skip in line when I'm waiting to use the toliet and really gotta go.
2. Bathrooms with no doors on the stalls. Bathrooms with no stalls, but just holes in the ground.
3. The staring. It sometimes lasts for what seems like forever. If you want my autograph, just ask already.
4. People drive like complete f%$*ing morons. They put whole intersections into gridlock because they are so damn inconsiderate.
5. Ugly little ankle bitters who run around freely (no leashes, the insanity!) reeking havoc on the community.
6. No decent Mexican food.
7. Complete strangers asking me what my monthly salary is.
8. Having to look in all four directions when I cross the street or otherwise risk death.
9. Strolling merrily down the sidewalk when a whiff of the vilest stentch hits my nostrils and nearly knocks me to the ground.
10. Friends, family, and Oscar are an ocean away.

You may sense that some things are getting under my skin. Some foreigners refer to this as "China Rage." Yes, there are moments (more frequently as of late) that I get a bit miffed. It's not that China isn't a wonderful country. It's great. But it's obviously a lot different from home. I miss going into a public toliet and knowing that there will be toliet paper made available for me. Such is not the case here. It's the little things like that (and the big things like being far from friends and family) that make me anxious to get home. It won't be much longer now. I can almost taste the burrito.

to sprint or not to sprint?

Yet another bus tale. . .I promise this will be my last.

It's Monday morning and I'm walking down the alley next to my apartment building. I can see the main road and I hear the grumble of a bus coming down the street. Please don't be my bus, I think. I see it roll past. . .the 749. My bus. Shit.

I now have one of two choices. I can continue walking and miss the bus-resulting in a 20 minute, freezing cold wait for the next one. Or I can book it. Do my fastest 200 meter dash since middle school gym class. If I opt to run for it, there are two outcomes:

1. I make it onto the bus, relieved and panting.

2. I make it to the bus stop, huffing and puffing, as the bus pulls away from the curb and I'm left in a cloud of fuel exhaust while everyone at the bus stop stares at me, "The Foreigner." I then try to catch my breath, which takes awhile, cuz, let's face it, the only time I ever sprint (or exercise, for the matter) is if I am chasing a bus. All the while I'm trying to act cool and pretend that I'm not totally pissed that I missed the bus and made an ass of myself in the process. In fact, it was precisely what I meant to do.

Since it's a bitterly cold morning, as most winter mornings in Beijing are, I decide to make a run for it. Usually things go in my favor. Chinese bus drivers are generally not the passive aggressive types. If they see someone coming they don't step on the gas with a little smirk of gratification on their faces. Quite often they will wait. But this wasn't the case for me. I was left in the dust, looking like an idiot.

The funny thing I've noticed about Chinese people, is that the only time I EVER see them running is if they are chasing a bus. I don't see them so much as jogging in the park. If they are in the crosswalk and the light is about to change and their is a dump truck barreling down upon them, they continue to stroll along without a care in the world. I think I'll never fully understand these people.

just an ordinary day

Left: alley way next to my house
Right: my little class at Richland School

It's been awhile...but there hasn't been that much interesting happening to me. The most exciting thing that's happened to me in the past week is that I discovered Doritos at the local 7/11. While I'm not the biggest fan of them (I believe I ODed on them in the 8th grade due to too many late night sleepover munchies), I've found myself missing them. They have recently made their arrival in China. Now if they only had Cherry Coke.

The other reason I haven't wrote is because I've been feeling lazy. The semester is winding down (only 5 more weeks!!!) and after doing this for five months I'm ready for a vacation. And I'm coming home to take my vacation. . .Monday, February 19th! Before it comes to an end, I'll let you in on what my days are like here. Yesterday, for example:

6:01am Wake up. Don't know what time it is. Wish I wasn't half blind or at least have a night stand with a clock.

6:20am Finish getting ready. Leave the house.

6:22am Outside, it's dark as night. The moon is still out. This is seriously too early to be up. Street vendors are preparing breakfast foods. . .egg sandwiches, spring rolls, soy milk. There's a few people out and about and a some taxis cruise down the road.

6:24am Arrive at the bus stop. There's not too many other people there. Freezing my butt off. Praying the bus will come soon and that it won't be crowded.

6:30am Bus comes, it doesn't look too crowded. I still make a point to be the first on the bus to get the best seat available. If this involves a little pushing and shoving, so be it.

7:00am The sun makes things a little less da

wanting to break things

I've been here almost two years, yet there are still days filled with frustration. I'm talking I-want-to-scream-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-and-break-small-objects frustration. Sometimes it's after I've had a really aggrevating class and as I'm walking to the bus stop some freakin' Beijing idiot who's never seen a foreigner before decides to yell a condescending "helllloooooo!" at me. This, in turn, causes all his little homies to crack up in laughter and me to scream back "NI HAO!!!!!!!!!!!!" like a lunatic. Just to clear up any confusion, ni hao means "hello," in Chinese.

Last week was one dosy of a week (yes, I just used the word dosy and I don't even think I spelled it right). I went to the Language University to turn in my application so I can study there again next spring. I had already dropped it off several weeks ago but was informed that I was "too early" and to bring it back at a later date. So I returned last week. My intuition told me things were not going to go well. The young, female secratary ignored my presence for as long as humanly possible (even though I was the only other person in the room). I was pretty sure I wouldn't be walking out of the room with my application and 600RMB fee ($75!!!) handed in.

If you think customer service is bad in America, you really have no idea how lucky you are. . . I'm constantly at the mercy of some cashier/secretary/waitress's mood. If they are happy or like the look of me, they can be fairly efficient, even helpful. But, if they aren't haven't such a great day they want to bestow their misery on every living creature in their path. The latter is probably what happened to me and I was stupid enough to fall victim to it. She wouldn't let me hand in the application without seeing my passport, which (of course) I don't carry around with me. She would not provide me with a reason, but just simply walked away at the first sign of my distress. I'd like to say I walked out with a little dignity, but I can't. I called Zhao Ming to see if he could help me. He went into the office and I waited outside. Several minutes later some security guards came running up. I knew things went from bad to worse.

He didn't get into any fights at least. The secretary was just a little intimidated by him, and by the looks of it when I entered the room, so were the 95 lb. security guards. I convinced him we weren't getting anywhere and we might as well leave. So I'll have to go back, yet again, to turn in my application. I'm going to go in disguise though. I'm afraid if she recognizes me she'll throw my app in the garbage and pocket the $75.

What makes it hardest for me is the language barrier. Unless I'm speaking to someone with fantastic English (probability of this is extremely slim), it's difficult to get my point across. And if I'm stuck speaking Chinese, forget it. I'll probably just get myself into more trouble. Mess up one tone or miss a word and I could go from saying "I need to talk to your manager" to "Your mother is an ugly giraffe." I guess this gives me more incentive to study harder. If nothing else it is certainly testing every ounce of my patience.

Season's Greetings

It's been awhile. I haven't had much to say and on top of that I have been not in the cheeriest of moods. In the spirit of last week's Thanksgiving, I should be grateful for all that I have. But let me tell you this. . .there was not turkey. No cranberries. No, not in a country that doesn't have turkey or cranberries. In fact, the word for turkey in Chinese is "big chicken." I think the turkey is being misrepresented. . . Furthermore, there was no stuffing or gravy. I did get my hands on a sweet potato though. They sell them for 25 cents on the street during the winter months. I guess I should be grateful for that. My Thanksgiving dinner consisted of a plate full of sushi and also some raw squid (given to us as a free appetizer. . .hello, not appetizing) at a local Japanese restaurant. I have to hand it to one of my co-workers. He was more clever. He went to an Indian restuarant for his Thanksgiving meal.
There isn't much sign of Christmas in Beijing yet. I'll give you all the annoying details once there is. The Chinese don't know how to "do" the holiday season. They have some mutant strain of a holiday that hardly resembles the Christmas I know. Granted, Christmas in America has it's own issues. I personally can't bring myself to step into a mall after Thanksgiving. And I'm almost willing to listen to Linda Ronstad (the only cassette tape I own, one I listened to religiously as a little girl) in my car to avoid the Christmas songs on the radio. Now, what I wouldn't give to hear "Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer" or "Feliz Navidad." I miss the sugar buzz of cookies and chocolates. There's no Christmas trees seen through windows. No department store fist fights over the hottest toys of the season. So next time you are about to scream while scanning that radio dial, think of me.

Back on American Soil (from 11.4)

*I posted this on Blogger last week, but somehow it appears to have disappeared from my former entries??

I made it onto US soil for approximately 45 minutes yesterday. Why did I return to America for such a short time? you ask. The answer is simple, although probably not the one you wanted: to visit the local embassy. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not actually in the good ol' U.S. of A., although I almost felt like it when I stepped into the embassy district. It's so very unBeijing. There are no high rises and very few cars. There are trees and shrubbery for as far as the eye can see. But you know you are in China because at the gate of every embassy is a tiny little Chinese man (roughly 17 years of age, 100 lbs dripping wet) in an ill fitting green uniform. These security guards are a little hard to take seriously. First of all, it looks like they borrowed their older brother's clothes and a belt ten sizes too big. Secondly, they don't carry guns. Well, neither do the police here, but at least they look like actual grown ups.

You are probably wondering what I was doing at the embassy. Well, I found that my Friday afternoon class was canceled, so I decided to take a trip over there. I haven't received any word on the status of Ming's visa. The application made it to them, as they cashed the $170 check (the first of many to come, it pains me to say) back in August. I was able to talk to a more-than-helpful lady, a luxary you don't often find in China. I really love how kind my fellow Americans can be. In spite of her best efforts, however, she couldn't tell me much. Turns out they do all the processing for his type of visa in Guangzhou, which is in South China, near Hong Kong. Fat chance I'm going to be making a trip down there, leaving us with pretty much our only option-to continue to wait. Please cross your fingers for us!

With luck on our side the whole process can take about a year, but there is a good chance we will get rejected this first time. It's better for me not to even think about it!There's not much else to report. Although I would like to note that I got drunk off of one Ultimate Mojito at Friday's restaurant yesterday. There's nothing like having lunch solo and getting drunk at one in the afternoon while in a foreign country. I don't really recommend it.

The American Dream, in China

I'm not the most conventional of people, but I must say that I am pretty cliche in my hopes for the future. A husband, a couple kids, a dog, and a modest house in the suburbs-yes, the sterotypical American Dream. I can, however, go without the picket fence and golden retreiver. If (or should I say: WHEN) I come back to America, there is a good chance of eventually making all these dreams a reality. If (this is a hypothetical "if") I were to live my life in China, the chances of this happening are slim to none. The husband and dog will happen, the two kids-maybe (I'm not sure if I have to abide by China's "One Child Policy"?). The house, fat chance in hell.

Finding a house in China is not easy. I have never, with my own two eyes, have actually seen a "house" in the American sense. I hear that they exist out in the Beijing suburbs, but I've only seen pictures in magazines. The fact is, it's better for me not to think about it. I start to feel a little bitter because I know it's something that could never be mine. Same as owning a car here. Yeah, it's great not having to rely on a vehicle, but when the option is taken away from you, you start to feel a little resentment. Generally, only taxi drivers and those with really high paying jobs have cars. Keep in mind that the average yearly income in Beijing is just over US$2000. People live off of less than $200 a month, on average! Many people survive on much less. In that sense, I am incredibly fortunate.

Clearly, having a car is out of most people's reach. Having a house is even more so. Word is that the suburbian houses cost several hundred thousand US dollars. Not only that, one can never actually own the house because it's technically on 70-year lease from the Chinese government. That's communism for ya.

But things in China are changing. You've probably heard? Fastest growing economy, blah,blah,blah. I don't know all the details, but things are developing fast and the standards of living are changing. Chinese people want more, better, faster. Does this sound framiliar? I think many Chinese are hoping to find there own American dream. But can it happen? Let's hope not. And I'll tell you why. . .

I just recently read an article (an interview of Lester Brown, a famous environmental analysist, in case you were wondering) about China's future. It is predicted that China will reach the same income level as America in 25 years. If China spends it's money in ways similar to how American spend their money, there are going to be some problems, to say the least. I'm a girl who likes statistics and simple numbers. Sure, many of them are BS, but let's just entertain ourselves with some for the time being. According to this Brown fellow, if future Chinese consumers are anything like current Ameican consumers, the Chinese will consume twice as much paper as the world currently produces. Keep in mind that China, at present, has about 1.3 billion people. America, a country similar in size, has about 280 million. So what does that mean as far as cars on the road? By 2036, it is predicted that the Chinese will drive 1.1 billion cars. That's asking for a lot of traffic jams! At the moment, there are 800 million cars driven worldwide. What does that mean for oil? 99 billion barrels of oil a day for China ALONE. The world currently produces 84 billion barrels a day. So it looks as if the American Dream is not going to do China, or the world, much good. It will be a sweet time for car manufacturers though.

I have always been, more-or-less, as environmental conscious as the next guy. I seperated my cans from my papers, but was occassionally known to throw a cigarette butt out the window of my car. Living in Beijing has made me realize how much I took for granted. There is garbage lying everywhere here, although that's the least of my concerns. The air is thick and brown most days, with little visibility. I heard that living here is like smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. When will it get better? There will be a city overhaul for the Olympics, no doubt, but I'm a little nervous about Beijing's post-Olympic future. But by then I'll probably be living out my American Dream in American and blissfully clueless about life under the red flag.

victim of a hate crime

We all have our bad days. Although most of you probably have the benefit of complaining about the world's injustices to somebody who can fluently speak English. I don't. So I will just do it here. Although the past couple of days have been better, I definitely went through a rough patch over the weekend.

Starting with Friday.Friday started pleasantly enough. I decided to take an alternate way to work (aka a different bus, that takes much longer but has much less people). One benefit, to be able to sit down instead of being crammed in between 5 people, the other benefit. . .skipping the morning roundevous with my co-worker. He and I both live near each other and teach at the same school in the mornings. This naturally leads us to taking the same bus, which leads to other things such as breakfasts at McDonald's together and a lot of chit-chat. As established in the previous post, I am not the most chatty of gals. This applies ten fold at pre-noon hours. Sometimes I just want to enjoy my hotcakes and coffee in quiet.

Despite a nice, silent breakfast, things started to go sour once I started teaching at LO. I have 4 half hour classes there. Usually the kids are ok, but at the end of the week they are wild and restless and I'm tired and impatient. Not a good combo. But I just brushed my shoulders off and moved on with my day. Grabbed a taxi to my tutoring job. There was a bit of a miscommunication between me and the driver. He went the wrong way and it's never easy to get yourself turned around once you're going the wrong way in Beijing traffic. Supposedly Beijing has the widest roads in the world. The result, my fare was double what it normally is. But looking at the bright side, I told myself, at least I'm in China. $4 vs. $2 isn't such a big loss.

After tutoring it was off to the grade school I teach at on Friday afternoons for 2 hours. I had a great lesson planned. All about Halloween: ghosts, witches, monsters-the works. I even bought a mask for the occassion and was going to have them make greeting cards. Can you imagine the excitement??? But when I got there I noticed a woman sitting in the back of the room. Who was she and what was she doing in my classroom? I asked my assistant, "Oh, she's just one of the student's mothers. She's sitting in on the class because her daughter doesn't really like your lessons." Um, ok. That made me feel a lot better. It got worse as her eyes pierced into me as I began my lesson. I can now recognize the face of pure evil. Alright, I'm exaggerating, but she really looked pissed off. Never cracked a smile, not even when I busted out the monster mask.

After fifty minutes, it was break time and I was ready for a nervous breakdown. I've never felt so on edge. I wanted her out of the room. Normally I don't care if the parents are there, but this lady was creepin' me out. Plus, they aren't suppose to be parents in the room anyway. In my defense. So I did what any logical person would do and I overreacted. I told my assistant either mommy was leaving or a I was. This may seem a little extreme, but the Chinese are big on smoothing things over. In fact, I had asked my assistant nicely first, but was given a "there-there" response of, "She'll only be here today. She won't be here next week. We're sorry that we didn't tell you first, but we didn't know she'd be here." I wanted to say "I don't give a flying F*%$ if she'll be here next week or not. I'm sick of getting the evil eye." But since there were children present and my assistant's English isn't so hot, I had to make the threat. It worked! I no longer had to face the look of death, but I was left with the guilt of having been so rude to my sweet, innocent assistant.

I made it through the rest of class and the evening without inncident, although filled with doubt. Am I a bad teacher? Am I mean? Am I ever going to get used to this place? But then Saturday morning came. A new day. A new start. But the ickiness of Friday just seaped into Saturday and I was already in a foul mood and fighting with Ming before breakfast. I had to get to work, so I left. He followed and we caught the bus. Saturday's can also be brutal, everyone is out shopping or going to work. No seats were available, leaving us standing at the back of the bus. A middle-aged woman was behind me and I kept hearing her mumbling about my "da shu bao" (big book bag). I didn't understand the rest of what she was saying, but I wanted to know what her problem was, so I asked her "What's your problem?" I'm pretty sure she couldn't understand English, but she definitely got the gyst of what I was saying. She went off on me. Then Ming went off on her. Many vicious words were exchanged (I know because I have made a point to learn these words). I was caught in between them, literally. They were screaming over my head. I was begging Ming to stop. He wouldn't, nor would the lady. The Chinese seem to live for verbal confrontation. I always see people screaming at each other in the streets. And everyone stands around to watch. This is a great, cheap form of entertainment. With nowhere to run or hide, I began to cry. If everyone on the bus wasn't already looking, they were definitely looking then.

Eventually things calmed down and the lady had to get off the bus. This seemed to be the low point of the weekend, and everything went up from there. But I'm still left wondering. . .what was this woman's problem? Was this her way of expressing hatred towards wide-eyed, fair haired foreigners? Was she having a bad day? Going through her change of life? I don't know, but I hope to not be on the receiving end of an angry 50-year-old Chinese woman ever again.

guanxi

In China, there is this little thing called "guanxi." If you look it up in the dictionary, the term means realationship. But in reality it's all about connections, or in modern-day terms: "havin da' hook up." This is a country that's all about who you know. The more guanxi you have, the better. And people are not afraid to use their guanxi. In America, there's sometimes a little shame in asking for favors or inconviencing others. Not so here. Droping names, making phone calls, haggling for half an hour just to get 10 cents knocked off a pair of socks-it's all fair game.

If I want to get copies made, Ming insists I use the copy place near his work. Sure, there is a shop right next to our apartment building, but why go there when I can get the same job done for half a cent cheaper at the place where he "knows people." If I want to go to a certain temple, he insists I go to a different one. One where his friend's sister's boyfriend works at the ticket booth. That way I can get in for free. Nevermind that it's not the place I wanted to go to in the first place.

These kind of tactics don't really suit my personality. Call me lazy, or perhaps I just value my time more than my money. Then throw in the fact that I'm a bit of an introvert. It's not my nature to have an excess of friends and acquaintances. Luckily Ming makes up in what I lack. Another person who has great guanxi is my stepmom. You need your taxes done? She knows someone. You need a deal on house paint? She knows someone. You need to find some quality dark chocolate? Oh yes, she knows someone. I, on the other hand, am not the type to mingle at parties. When standing in line at the grocery store I try to look preoccupied or grumpy. I'm not interested in making small talk with strangers.

Things are different in China though. In a country where strong relationships are vital to success, the Chinese are not much for chatting up total strangers in hopes of making friends. They don't talk to each other on the bus or when waiting in line (probably because they don't know how to form lines). However, they do seem to take a liking to me. Since I'm a foreigner, these rules need not apply. If I forget to put my MP3 player in (a great invention for the anti-social), there's usually someone who wants to chat. For those who can only speak to me in Chinese, the questions are generally simple. "Where are you from?" "Are you an English teacher?" But if they can speak English, all bets are off. There's no knowing what might come out of their mouths. From "What's your favorite Chinese food?" to "What do you think is better, socialism or capitalism?" I've heard it all.

Sometimes the Chinese want to practice their English. Sometimes they are just curious. Others might be looking for some guanxi. Whatever the case, I'm probably not the best person to talk to. Perhaps the Chinese guy who often chats with me on the bus put it best when he asked, "Aren't Americans suppose to be friendly?" I guess not this American.

in the eye of the beholder

White is the new tan, just check out my stylish leg!

After posting my last batch of photos, I got a message from one of my friends. He advised me to hit the tanning booths. I guess you could say, I'm looking a bit pastey these days. The truth is, I couldn't be happier about it. In a country where you can't find a single tanning bed and girls hide under umbrellas whenever the sun peeks out, you can say I am proud to look like Casper. . . for once in my life. Here, white is in. Tan is unmistakably out. In fact, it's a little difficult for me to find some decent lotion here because just about everyone of them contains a 'whitener.' I thought whitening was just for the teeth! Well, it's pretty clear that I'm in no desperate need for a skin whitener. Everywhere I go I get compliments on my pale complexion. One of my 4-year-old students has decided to nickname me "White Face Rose." I'm not offended.

The standard of beauty is definitely a bit different here. Too bad for me, thin is still in. If only I could find a country that appreciates a little love handle. The Chinese are pretty harsh when it comes to weight. No one is afraid to proclaim me as "fat." In America, that's rude and hurtful, but here it's just a statement, a fact. It's not meant to cause offense, it's the truth as they see it. Saying "You're fat" is no more different than saying "You're a brunette." But it still stings when I hear it. I miss words and phrases like "big boned," "queen size," "pleasantly plump," "chubby," and even "overweight." Here I am just "fat." I have even heard a couple of my little students whisper 'da pigu' (big butt) behind my back. The thing is, I really don't consider myself all that fat by American standards, but so many of the Chinese are blessed with good metabolism and have a diet lacking in trans and saturated fats. Plus they usually don't have cars. Where I come from we eat our Big Macs while driving our cars on the way to the job where we sit on our asses all day. And then we come home and watch TV.

Another aspect of beauty is eye shape and even more importantly, eyelid type. The Chinese generally like wide eyes. This is another thing I occassionally get complimented on. The other saught after characteristic is the "Double Eyelid." It took me awhile to understood what this means. I'll do what I can to explain it. . . .If you are of European decent, you have (as far as I know) a double eyelid. Some Chinese also have double eyelids. This doesn't have anything to do with the actual shape of the eye, but how the skin is above it. If one is lacking in the Double Eyelid department, this means the skin hangs all the way down from their brow to their eye and you can't really see their eye lashes. I recently read an article about the new plastic surgeory phenomenon now hitting China. Evidently there is a procedure that allows Asians without the double lid to get it. It's the hottest thing in Asian cosmetic surgery. One young Chinese man claimed he got it done because it will improve his job opportunities. Sounds a bit crazy to me, but plenty of American girls get boob jobs for this reason. In a country with 1.3 billion people, I suppose a boy's gotta do what a boy's gotta do to outshine the competition.

good-bye my friend

They got mine, but there's not taking his.

If you every have the chance to come to Beijing, you will certainly notice the bikes. There are probably a few million of them here. It's a great, all be it a bit dangerous, mode of transportation. The second thing you will notice is the condition of these bikes. They all appear to be about 20-years-old. They are dirty and rusty. Sometimes parts are missing. I have seen people riding bikes with flat tires. Sure, there are some people that can't afford a new bike (myself included), but certainly not everyone. The question perplexed me: Why do all these bikes look like they were picked out of a junk yard? Well, I eventually got wind of the answer. . .the uglier the bike, the less likely it is to get stolen. Some people even suggest trying to mud about your bike a bit. Make it look nice and dirty.

As for me, I took the plunge and bought my bike back in March for a cool 100 kuai (about $12). She was no beauty, but compared to her peers, I'd give her a 7 out of 10. She was silver, slightly scratched, and had a convinent little basket on the front. I wasn't too worried about someone trying to swipe her. But I guess I should of been, because today she was taken from me. Yes, she was stolen.

I guess it was just a matter of time. Pretty much everyone I know has a story of something being stolen from them. I've heard of people's purses and pockets being slashed so that everything falls out from the bottom without them knowing it. One of my classmates at BLCU had ALL her clothes taken from her dorm. Zhao Ming's mother had an unfortunate incident when someone snatched her purse and ran.

If I'm making Beijing sound like a dangerous place, it's not. While there are a lot of pickpockets and theifs out their, I can comfortably walk home late at night. I always feel safe, but I do have to keep a close eye on my purse.