What's wrong with your skin?

photo via photobucket (krashcdm)

I am indisputable Irish. You can perhaps tell just by looking at me; I've been told by real Irishmen that I look the part. It's also there in old US census records. I traced back my mom's lineage to the "old country" and my maternal grandpa's paternal grandpa was indeed born somewhere in Ireland. Everyone loves the Irish, don't they? What other country has a drunken holiday entirely devoted to it? Could you get away with wearing a "Kiss me, I'm German" shirt? I think not.

So I suppose it's a good thing to be part Irish. Except for the times when it isn't--like those summer days when I would lay out on our asphalted driveway with the neighbor girl, desperately hoping to get a tan and ending up looking like a lobster. Or when the movie Casper came out and suddenly all my middle school classmates found it hilarious to nickname me after a ghost. Yes, I have very, very white skin and I always hated it, until I came to China.

The Chinese, and I suppose Asians in general, have a thing for white skin. They use lotion with whiteners and spend the entire summer hiding under a parasol. In Asia, I have often been complimented on my skin tone, which has been an adjustment after it having it been under constant scrutiny growing up. In recent years, I've come to embrace my paleness and no long hide my frighteningly white legs in summer. I wear shorts, almost with pride.

While I'm not longer ashamed of my fairness, I have become somewhat shy about something else--my freckles. As a kid, I never minded them. I was told they were cute. But the Chinese don't seem to agree. I remember once watching an episode of the TV show Lost with Ming. One of the characters, Kate, was given the pet name of "Freckles" by another character that seemed to have the hots for her. Ming looked at me confused.

"Why's he calling her that? I thought he liked her." In his mind, it was like calling your crush a fatso. It made no sense and would totally ruin a dude's game.

"He does like her. He calls her that because he thinks her freckles are cute. They are cute," I assured him.

"Hmm," he mulled it over for a bit, "I guess they could be. . . "

"What? You don't think my freckles are cute?" I teased.

"Well, I guess now I do!"

Thank heavens for Lost, it allowed Ming to see my freckles in a whole new light! Unfortunately, he's probably the only one out of a population of 1.3 billion. I was reminded of this not once, but twice, this past week. . . .

It starts with a concerned look at my arm and then an obvious attempt to grasp at the appropriate words in English, words that won't be too insulting. The conversation goes something like this:

"What are those on your arm?" asks Concerned Chinese Person (CCP).

"Freckles," I answer, knowing damn well CCP hasn't the slightest idea what that means. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I can never remember the word in Chinese.

Curiosity tends to override manners now, so goes the follow-up question, "I'm sorry. What's wrong with your skin?"

"Nothing is wrong. They are called freckles. Many foreigners have them," I explain.

I see the suspicion in CCP's eyes and maybe even a little pity. CCP fears I have cancer or some other disease.

"It's because I'm part Irish. Irish people often have these. I'm not sick," I reassure CCP. This generally seems to satisfy the questioner on the topic of freckles even if my arm is still looked at with distaste.

My freckles are out in full blaze now that it's summer but I try not to be too self-conscious. While sometimes I wish people wouldn't look at my freckles like they are the sign of some underlying illness, I know that beauty standards are different everywhere. I can think freckles are cute even if they don't.

What about you? Is there a feature you have that you've been teased about? Have you ever found that beauty standards are different when you've lived or traveled in places far from where you grew up?

Attitudes toward homosexuality in China: What are fǔnǚ?

With the recent US Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage, some people in countries such as China are being forced to face a topic they rather sweep under the carpet. But for others, the ruling provides an opportunity for them to come out when perhaps they may not have otherwise. One such instance happened earlier this month when a graduate of Sun Yat-Sen came on stage wearing a rainbow flag and asked for the university president's support.

In ten years living in China, I have not come across any Chinese friends or acquaintances who were openly gay. In fact, the vast majority of Chinese people say they don't know anyone who is gay. I'm not particularly surprised by this as most gays and lesbians try to live an outwardly straight life in an attempt to appease their families and society. Gay men often marry, some to straight women and others to lesbians. The pressure to marry is great, but perhaps the pressure to have a child is even greater. Nowadays, gays and lesbians can turn online and to "marriage markets" so that they can find a partner to enter into a heterosexual marriage and later have a baby.

I recently talked to one of my adult students, a post-90's generation young woman, what she thought about the Supreme Court ruling and her impression of the overall attitude towards gays in China. The conversation veered in an unexpected direction.

"Do you know what fǔnǚ (腐女) are?" she asked.

“Fùnǚ (妇女)? You mean women?" I answered, confused.

She laughed.

I had mixed up two near homophones. I had her write the characters down for clarification. The first one, fǔ (腐) means "rotten or decayed" in Chinese (for those beancurd haters out there, it's also the first character in the Chinese word for tofu). Nǚ simply means "female or woman." A strange word at first glance, but it's actually a transliteration of the Japanese word (ふじょし，fujoshi) for this phenomenon.

What phenomenon? She explained that there is a raising trend of teenage girls and young women obsessing over BL (online slang for "Boy Love," yeah, I had to look that up), delighting in gay romance found in books, movies, and anime. There are large groups of women online that swap BL photos and recommend stories, films, and shows featuring BL. Initially, I thought it odd but more-or-less harmless; maybe not so different from the recent popularity of "Bromance" in the US. But there was more.

These girls also like to pair heterosexual males together, often in photos, for their own amusement. My student showed me a cartoon featuring Kim Jung-un and Barack Obama sitting together shirtless, staring at each other lovingly; this is one such example of the types of stuff that get passed around the internet. But the fǔnǚs fixation isn't strictly reserved to online shenanigans. They may harass male classmates and friends when they show any form of attention or affection towards the same sex, encouraging them to marry or kiss. For fear of being labeled as gay, some young men lash out, making ugly, homophobic comments in an attempt to ward off any further comments.

I find this trend bizarre and unfortunately, I don't know that it's doing anything to help the plight of the gay community in China, but hopefully the Supreme Court ruling will.

BL anime, from 265g.com

Exporting your pet from China

Ming with puppy Fei Fei

Updated post (Aug 18, 2015)
Second Update (Sept 12, 2015)

While it isn't quite official, we will most likely be moving back to the US this fall. My hope is to return sometime in September, with our pooch in tow. Though I am an animal lover, I never expected to get a dog while in China. Ming, my husband, randomly went into a pet shop near our daughter's school and fell in love. He fell madly, deeply, truly for a teeny, tiny poodle. After seeing her, he came home and convinced me to go have a look at her. She was adorable and exactly the kind of dog I imagined owning, but the timing just wasn't right. The next month we were heading off to Europe on vacation for three weeks, hardly an ideal time to get a dog. I promised him we could keep looking and get an idea of what kind of dog we wanted; after our trip we would commit.

The next weekend we took a stroll through an outdoor market outside Chengde's Summer Mountain Resort. A local pet store had brought some of its animals there. We decided to take a peek. As we approached, we immediately spotted the teeny, tiny poodle. . . in the arms of another man! He was admiring her while his girlfriend looked on and the pet shop owner sang the dog's praises. Ming strutted up quickly and snatched the puppy from the stranger's arms.

"This is my dog!" he declared. Then he turned to me and said with utter conviction, "Rosie, go run to the ATM. We're buying this dog!" And so we got our dog, Fei Fei.

That was over six years ago. My husband still adores the dog, at times referring to her as his "dog daughter." He is so distressed at the thought of her dying that he has convinced himself that she will one day be a world record holder and live to be 100. There was no question she'd be coming to the US with us. And so we are beginning the process.

Teddy and Fei Fei

This is what you need to find out first:

1. The requirements of the country you are flying to.
It's extremely important you look into this well in advance as some countries require tests done months in ahead of departure. For example, pets traveling from China to the EU are required to have a rabies antibody titre test. This is best to have done 6 months or before you leave, though express options may be available. On the other hand, some countries have fairly lax requirements. The US only requires a rabies vaccination, though this must be done at least one month (but less than a year) before departure from China. 

2. The policy of the airline you are flying.
I will most likely fly from Beijing to Chicago, so I called the carriers I have flown with in the past on that route. Here is what I found out:
 -American Airlines: Will not accept pets (as cargo or carry-on) for flights (plus typical check-in time and disembarkment) longer than 12 hours. In other words, they will not accept any pets on flights from China to the US, Canada, most of Europe, etc.
 -Hainan Airlines: Will only accept pets as cargo. The price is based on a head-scratching formula that takes in account variables such as your dog's length, width, and height.
-Delta Airlines: Cats and small dogs (less than 10 lbs/5 kilos) can be carried on (US$200 each way). Larger pets can be checked as cargo. I'm not sure of the price of checking a pet as cargo.
-United Airlines: Cats and small dogs can be carried on (US$125 each way). Larger pets can be checked in their special PetSafe program. Prices vary depending on weight of dog (small dogs priced at about US$700 each way).

Here is what you need to do second:

3. Fill the requirements of the country you are flying to.
Your going to need to find a vet and not just any old vet will do. From what I've read, only certain vets are certified to administer tests and vaccines for pets that will be exported. I looked into a few vets in Beijing and found the International Center for Veterinary Services as well as Doctors Beck and Stone. I think I'm going to make an appointment with the latter as they were very prompt and profession in answering my emails.

4. Purchase the proper carrier/kennel if you don't own one already.

Iris crate sold on Taobao

I plan to carry-on so I bought a soft carrier. I purchased the Sherpa Delta Airlines Deluxe Carrier on Amazon.com (the US site, not the Chinese one). The price of the carrier plus shipping was about US$50 (delivers in 2-3 with standard international shipping). I didn't find any soft carriers I liked on Taobao, but I did find some crates that fit IATA standards, had I needed to check our dog as cargo. It is a Japanese brand, Iris (爱丽思 in Chinese characters), and prices are fairly reasonable. I think such crates can also be found in some Chinese pet shops and veterinarian offices. For more information about IATA, check their website. Some detailed instructions on choosing the right crate for your international jet-setting dog, have a look at PetTravel.com .

5. Go through the procedures required by the Chinese government.  
There is some variation depending on what city you are exiting from. For those leaving from Beijing, you'll be dealing with Guan Shang Animal Hospital. You'll need to visit their office about 7-10 days before departure. They require all pets they see to be micro-chipped. Doctors Beck and Stone offer micro-chipping for 535 RMB plus vet consulting fee (ranging from 50-300 RMB, depending on experience level of vet). You'll also need to provide them with the red vaccination booklet (we actually were given a sheet of paper) you should have received from the vet who provided your pet's previous vaccinations (such as rabies).

At Guan Shang, they will perform an exam on your pet and may run some tests. Of course, this doesn't come free. The fee depends on the tests are run. We ended up paying 675 RMB (a little over US$100). The results take one to two days, and if Fido/Fluffy is set to jet, he'll be awarded a "International Companion Animal Health Inspection Form." You then must take that form (valid for 7 days) upstairs to the Entry-Exit Inspection and Quarantine Bureau. You show them the form as well as the vaccination booklet/papers and your passport, give them some cash (100 RMB, but don't quote me on that), and wait another day or two to pick up the "Animal Health Certificate" (i.e. export permit, valid for 14 days). If you live outside of Beijing and don't want to wait around for the paperwork, Guan Shang will actually do the legwork for you. After the exam results were out, they picked up the export permit for us and sent it to our home by express mail (total cost: 450 RMB, time frame: arrived 2 days from date of exam).

Guan Shang's contact information is as follows:

• Address in English: 1/F, 7 North Third Ring Road (300 meters West of An Hua Qiao, on the north side of the street), Chaoyang District
• Address in Chinese: 朝阳区北三环中路7 号一层（安华桥往西三百米路北）
• Hours: Daily 8.30am-10.30pm
• Phone: 400-700-1542、62051944、62366641、62049631、62371359

6. Book your ticket. 
You definitely need to call the airline to let them know you are traveling with a pet. Try to do it early as there is only a certain number of pets allowed on-board and policies in cargo can vary. I'll be flying Delta and they allow 4 pets in-cabin (economy seating only). They made a note that I will be traveling with a pet and I will pay for her when I check-in a the airport. Some airlines have very strict requirements about the size of your carrier. Be sure to ask, multiple times (and write down the date, time, and name of whoever you speak to in case there is a problem down the road--as happened to me!). If flying your pet cargo, be aware that some airlines won't allow pets to be checked if the temperature is too high or too low.

I've tried to put together some links from blogs of people who have traveled with there pets. A recent one from Chocolate Chick in China describes the trials and tribulations of traveling between cities in China with a pet. My Hong Kong Husband wrote a post about her experiences taking a cat from the US to Ireland. The Love Blender also have a detailed post about traveling with her cat from Taiwan to the EU. I'll try to add any links I find of other reports.

If you have gone through the process yourself and have something to add, or if you have any questions, please comment!

Crazy $h!t that's happened to me in Asia: Hostage crisis

With this chapter of my life soon coming to a close, I can't help but look back at everything that's happened over the past ten years. Now that I'm older, now that I'm someone's mother, I can't believe some of the situations I put myself into. I was at times naive, stupid, and lucky (or perhaps unlucky, if you're a glass-half-full kinda person). Many of my most bizarre experiences I never wrote about, but it's not too late. In fact, I think now is the perfect time to reflect and share my craziest adventures living in traveling in Asia. I'm going to start with my favorite, the time I got held for ransom in the Sumatran jungle.

The story starts out typically enough, at least for anyone whose a globetrotter. My friend M and I wanted to meet up. She was in the US, I in China. She'd already visited me in China once before and I had recently been home to the States for a visit. We needed a totally new venue. Somehow, we settled on going to Sumatra—I think it was because M was hoping to spot a tiger in the jungle. We rendezvoused in Kuala Lumpur before taking a quick flight down to Banda Aceh, which is a large city on the northern tip of Indonesia's island of Sumatra.

boat stranded on top of housing, Banda Ache

Our short time spent in Banda Aceh was a bit surreal, a precursor for what was yet to come on what was overall a very intense trip. Banda Aceh is a difficult place to visit for a couple of reasons. The first being that it was the place hardest hit by the 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami. Everyone in the city lost someone that day, many people lost everything. We toured the city with a local, who showed us numerous inland shipwrecks, boats that were washed ashore by the tidal waves, too heavy ever to be returned to the sea. The tsunami museum was truly heartbreaking, with a wall commemorating the dead, flags honoring the countries who donated to the city's reconstruction, and live footage of the actual event.

boat stranded inland, Banda Ache

Not only was the sadness that surrounded the tsunami hard to swallow, but I was also overwhelmed by the staunch conservatism there. I'd been to Indonesia before and knew it was a predominantly Muslim country, but nothing quite prepared me for being in a state of the country that practiced sharia law. Suddenly, I felt very aware of the fact that I didn't have a headscarf on, very aware of the fact that I was simply a woman, roaming around freely in public. Everywhere we went were packs of men, but very few woman. At one point a young man in a cafe made a lewd gesture at us. Another time I was berated by an old man for wearing inappropriate clothing (a fitted, collared blouse with 3/4-length sleeves). I was indeed a strange person in a strange land.

From Banda Aceh, we moved on to a more relaxed local, Pulau Weh, an island renowned for its diving. I chickened out on the diving bit, thanks to an irrational fear of water I've harbored since early childhood. No matter, an island vacation is still paradise with or without a dive. After the island, we headed to Bukit Lawang.

river running through Bukit Lawang

Bukit Lawang. How can I even describe such a place? It's hardly a dot on a map. A small town by a river with a number of cafes and guesthouses catering to mostly foreign tourists. This place attracts travelers thanks to the nearby national park and orangutan sanctuary as well as its reputation for organizing decent treks to spot orangutans in their natural environment (and other animals too; if you are really, REALLY fortunate, you might see a rare Sumatran rhino or tiger). When we arrived, we immediately signed-up for a trek. We decided to do a basic one, two days and one night in the jungle with a near guarantee of spotting orangutans. Perfect.

Before setting out, I had done a little reading about these treks. Both online and in my Lonely Planet guidebook, I read warnings about a certain orangutan, known by local guides as Mona. Mona was a force not to be reckoned with. If she wanted something, you gave it to her. End of story. I, who in my previous travels had already had a number of unpleasant run-ins with monkeys, made an early note to stay clear of Mona.

Naturally, we spotted Mona early-on in our trek. I was a bit nervous, but the guide made a peace offering of rambutans and she let us go on our way, unscathed. I was happy to have seen an orangutan--a famed one, at that. I felt like I'd already gotten my money's worth. If given the chance, I would have headed back to camp, but I was forced to press on. I quickly realized that I was in worse shape than anyone in our group. I've always known that I wouldn't stand a chance if I was caught in some sort of Hunger Games situation, but I wouldn't expect myself to be the first dead. In this case, I was definitely the group's weakest link.

our trekking group, post-trek

I fell further and further behind as I sludged miserably through leech infested mud and climbed up slippery mountain slopes, grasping at tree roots to avoid sliding down and off the narrow trail. Before long, I was losing sight of our group and guides. One lone Frenchman took pity on me and slowed down his pace so I wouldn't be left in the dust (mud). I began to cry in frustration.

"We are going to lose the group. Just leave me!" I urged him dramatically.

"I can still see them up there. If you are worried, we can just call back one of the guides. It's their job to keep us together," he assured me.

"Okay," I sobbed, "I think I'm about to have a panic attack."

I didn't have a panic attack, though I definitely felt something close to panic. The kind Frenchman told me to stop and take it easy and then called to the guides. One of them came back to join us and I felt immediate relief.

With my new escort, the Frenchman picked up his pace and joined the rest of the group ahead, but I could easily see them in the distance. But suddenly there was something else I could see in the distance. . . another orangutan. It was swinging towards us. It was swinging down towards the ground and was coming straight for us. Oh, wait. No, coming straight for me. I stood frozen. Before I knew it, she was on me.

pure terror behind my smile

I was filled with pure terror. After all my bad run-ins with monkeys and stories I heard about rabies, this was my worst nightmare come true. She held my wrist as I looked into her brown eyes, face to face with my captor (and her offspring), trying to make sense of it all. What did she want from me? Was she going to try and take me up into the trees and integrate me into orangutan society?

At this point, our group had stopped and everyone made their way towards us. Soon they began snapping photos.

"Rosie, just turn your arm and slip out of her grip!" M called to me.

I made one futile attempt at that. It wasn't going to happen; my wrist was in a vise. This was an animal who spent most of her time swinging from branches. She was going to hold onto me as long as she wanted to hold on to me. Luckily, our guide had a plan. He was going to bribe her with fruit. She quickly ate through a pile of oranges and a bunch of rambutans, but still she refused to release me. I was beginning to wonder if there was anything left in our guide's backpack. He pulled out a large bunch of bananas and set them on a long vine. He somehow managed to jimmy the bananas up high off the ground. He then pointed them out to the clinging beast. She let go.

She was off running to claim the prize extorted from us. We didn't bother to stick around to see if she reached it, scurrying quickly, deeper into the jungle. "That was Jackie. She does it all the time," the guide said casually as we continued on our way. Why was this not mentioned in the guidebooks?!

That night, as we settled into camp, I was the envy of the group. Everyone else wished they could have had some one-on-one time with an orangutan. But the experience just cemented my fear of monkeys and now I am full-blown phobic. It might just be the craziest thing that has ever happened to me.

What about you? What is the strangest thing that ever happened to you while on vacation?

my jungle hat

Giving birth in China: 10 things to expect

One of my good friend's just had a baby this past weekend. Like me, she is a foreigner who gave birth in China. I'm amazed at her courage, as her husband (also foreign) has been out of the country recently so she's had to navigate the Chinese hospital system mostly on her own. She also has rather rudimentary spoken Chinese which presents other challenges. Though we live far apart, I've tried to be as helpful as possible during her pregnancy. We've talked a lot about differences between pregnancy and giving birth in China versus our home countries. Though I've talked about some of my experiences in other posts, I thought I'd put together a list of some of the issues I discussed with my friend. For those interested, here is my list of what to expect when giving birth in China:

the hospital where I gave birth

1. Your partner will not be allowed in the delivery room

Most people I've talked to who gave birth in China told me their husbands were not allowed inside the delivery room. I was told that my doctor that I would only be accompanied by nurses during labor. Chinese Potpourri gives a good account of her experience here. When I pushed my doctor to allow my husband to accompany me during labor, she eventually relented. If you give birth at a private or international hospital, I expect you'll have more options, but if going local, be prepared for the fact that you may be giving birth without your significant other.

2. You may not be offered an epidural

I didn't realize that in many countries, epidurals (spinal anesthesia) aren't standard procedure. In the US, you practically have to beg NOT to be given one. You will face eye rolls and questions, “The drugs are available, why not take them?” This was my attitude before, but after learning I'd be having a natural labor I educated myself more about going through labor and delivery without drugs. I now have a better understanding of why they aren't administered and why some women opt not to have them. But it is a harsh reality to face if you are expecting them only to find they are not given, as was my case. Be sure to talk this over with your doctor. If you will be giving birth naturally, I did find some solace in the book Mindful Birthing and Active Birth was a worthy read as well.

3. You will be allowed to move somewhat freely as well as eat and drink during (early) labor

This is a side note that I found interested. After reading about giving birth naturally, I learned that it was best to eat and drink during labor to keep up your strength. It is also good to move around and find positions most comfortable for you. In the US, since most women are administered epidurals, they aren't allowed food or drink (only ice chips, from what I've heard) and are mostly restricted to their bed. I asked my Chinese doctor about this and she said I was definitely free to eat, drink, and move about while in labor.

4. You may end up with a c-section

I spent a lot of time worrying about who would be in the delivery room with me and how I was going to get through a natural labor only to end up having an emergency c-section. My friend who just gave birth also ended up needing an emergency c-section. In China, c-sections are incredibly common and many women decide to have them electively. In the US, people tend to look down on them and even the women who have them. I didn't want one and honestly, I felt (and still feel) like a bit of a failure because I did. Which is stupid, as I should be grateful to live in a time when such technology even exists. But the moral of the story is this: You don't know how your birth will go. You may end up with a c-section. While it may be the last thing you want, try to learn some of the basics about what it entails just in case.

5. Recovery from a c-section sucks

As someone who had a c-section in China, I can tell this, it is rough. I'm sure giving birth the other way is no walk in the park either, but I can only attest to the suckiness of a c-section. The day I found out I'd be having a c-section (the day before I gave birth), I called the only person I knew back home who had had one. She was a bundle of positivity. “It's a breeze!” She assured me. “I felt fine by the second day and I was even up and walking around the first night!” That is not how it went for me. Not AT all. I was forced to lay flat on my back, without a pillow, for eight hours after surgery (which is a torture I would not wish inflicted on anyone; forget bamboo shoots up the fingernails). I was hooked up to numerous tubes and a machine to monitor my vitals. I was unable to hold my baby. They tried to set him on my chest, but it was awkward. There was no way I could try to breastfeed him. It took two days for me to get out of bed. I couldn't even make it to the bathroom. I felt weak and pathetic. Worst of all, I didn't feel like I got to properly bond with my baby.

I know it's not like this for everyone, not by a long shot. But I write this for those who prefer to prepare for the worst. I wish I had had a better idea of what recovery after a c-section would be. For me, the first two days were utter hell, the third day was awful, and after that it was much better. It took about two weeks for me to feel comfortable being myself (as I didn't want to open or infect my incision) and three months before I dared to do any real exercise.

6. You will likely be very hot

This wasn't much of a problem for me, as I have birth in April. But for those who give birth in summer, be prepared. Due to Chinese beliefs about wind and temperature and all that good stuff, don't expect an air-conditioner to be turned on. Don't even expect a window to be opened. You can try begging or just do what you want if you have your own room (you will get scolded when you are caught).

7. Dietary restrictions

Phase one: If you have a c-section, don't expect to be eating for awhile. After giving birth, I wasn't allowed to have anything until I could manage to pass gas. I think I triumphantly accomplished that on the day after surgery. I was rewarded, by my mother-in-law, with a steaming bowl of turnip soup. It may have been the best thing I've ever tasted. I wasn't allowed any protein or sugars until I had a successful Number 2. Anyone who's had surgery can probably attest to the difficulty of accomplishing that. It didn't happen for me until I was out of the hospital.

Phase two: Regardless of how you give birth, you may find that you also have to deal with some very unfamiliar dietary restrictions. This is particularly true if you or your partner is Chinese. Even if you are a foreign couple, you may get accosted by the doctors or nurses if they catch you eating or drinking anything improper. I can't provide a full list of such items, but the most basic rule of thumb is that you are expected to eat and drink everything warm. There are lots of particular foods that are “off limits” but it's nearly impossible to keep track of them all! This was perhaps one of the hardest issues for me to deal with postpartum, but I had a rather insistent husband and mother-in-law.

8. Differences in handling the baby

This is where things may start to get emotional. Most parents have a specific way they want their baby treated after birth. I, for example, didn't want my baby washed off as there is evidence that it is actually healthier for the baby not to be cleaned right way. Of course, they bathed William immediately after birth, despite my wish that they didn't. 

While I was uncomfortable with the idea, I did agree to giving the baby water as that is the practice in China. Be prepared for doctors and nurses who encourage this. Another issue, I did not want him to have formula until I had a chance to work on breastfeeding, but most Chinese people who insist on formula feeding the baby until a mother is able to properly breastfeed (if that's what she plans to do). Many western doctors advise against relying too much on formula (if at all) to mothers who want to establish proper breastfeeding.

A final issue: clothing. The baby will be overdressed. In fact, William broke out into hives due to all the clothes and blankets he was swaddled in after being born! As I wrote in his birth story, my American baby clothes were deemed completely inappropriate and my mother-in-law actually ran out to buy him other baby clothes the very day he was born.

9. You pay first

Before any of the prior stuff even can happen, you need to pay up. Do not expect care in a Chinese hospital without paying or putting down a sizable deposit first. In my case, I think we somewhat paid as we went, paying 1000 or 2000 rmb (US$150-300) when I checked-in and then adding to that after my surgery. When I checked-out we settled the bill down to the last mao (cent) and were give a print out of all the charges. My friend, on the other hand, was told to deposit 5000 rmb (over US$800) into her patient account before giving birth. The cost of birth can widely vary, even at a local hospital. At a standard hospital where I live, a vaginally delivery is about 2500 RMB and a c-section twice that. Double those figures for the “best” local hospital. In larger cities or at private hospitals, the cost will probably be more.

10. You will need someone to mind you and the baby

This is last, though it's perhaps the most important. At a local Chinese hospital, you cannot expect the nurses to take care of you or the baby. They will only attend to the most basic of tasks and often only when prompted. I don't say this as a criticism of them, this is simply how the system works.

Whenever you stay at a local hospital, you need to be damn sure you have a friend or family member around to take care of you. You need people to help you change your clothes, go to the bathroom, bring you food and water, keep an eye on your IV, etc. After giving birth, the baby will likely be in-room with you and someone must be around to help feed, change, and hold him. The nurses won't. If you have a c-section, you physically won't be able to do it. No matter how you give birth, you will be exhausted and need people around you to help. If you, for whatever reason, don't have someone, you can hire someone. In Chengde, the going rate for a 24-hour minder is less than 200 rmb/day (US$30/day). They are called hugong (护工) in Chinese and you should be able to ask the hospital staff about arranging one.

My final advice: Assume nothing. And ask lots of questions so there are fewer surprises. My hope is that I didn't scare anyone by writing this, but provided a realistic view of some of the experiences you might expect. Remember, most things are negotiable, so if you try talking to your doctor or nurses, you may be able to have some things done “your (crazy foreigner) way” but it's easier to accomplish this if you have such talks before you are actually in labor! If you have any questions or comments, please post.

Beating the heat in China

It's been awhile since I last published a post. The more time passes, the harder it becomes. Writer's block? No. Laziness? Not exactly. One might say I've been in a bit of a rut, not feeling particularly inspired by anything. Just floating along, allowing each day to run into the next.

But this morning was somehow different. I felt inspired by red bean popsicles and a blog post. Their common theme? Dealing with the heat. The way Chinese cope with summer is different from what I'm used to, that I've known since my first summer here. I've learned more as time has passed, particularly last summer during which I had to navigate through a sweltering July while caring for a newborn. I am still not familiar with all the intricacies of Chinese beliefs relating to hot and cold, they are incredible complex, thanks in part to traditional Chinese medicine. On a more superficial level, I do know some of the do's and don'ts of summer. Here is what I (think I) know:

1. Never expose your stomach, unless you are an overweight middle-aged Chinese man.

William in a dudou.

Last summer, when the thermometer hit the 30's (that's around the neighborhood of 85-95, my Fahrenheit friends), I was planning on letting William lay around in a diaper. I was immediately shot down. "You can't leave his stomach exposed! It's bad for his qi!" both my husband and mother-in-law exclaimed. In other words, not wearing a shirt would be bad for his life force. Who can argue with that? Instead of going topless, William sported a dùdōu (肚兜) for most of the summer. Dùdōus are popular among kids and even (supermodel thin) young women. They are designed like an apron so that the front is covered and back is open, with strings that tie around the neck and waist.

For reasons I have yet to understand, it is okay for men to walk around with their stomachs out. I'd think that this would leave their qi vulnerable, but it only leaves them looking ridiculous. Now I can very much appreciate a man without his shirt on. Moreover, I'm a realist and don't expect men to have rock hard abs. I do understand the desire to let the beer gut out for a breather from time to time and that's all good. But I just can't get behind the Beijing Bikini (as it's affectionately called) which is a summer "style" popular among a certain set of Chinese men. The Beijing Bikini requires the wearer to roll up his t-shirt well above the navel, often resting on top of the protruding gut, leaving his entire midsection flapping in the wind. Why not fully commit to going shirtless and take it all off? That's the sensible thing to do and it looks better, no matter what the physique.

2. Eat popsicles with abandon but only if you are strong enough for it.

William enjoying a red bean popsicle

I am a lover of ice cream and enjoy popsicles from time to time. Quite frankly, I'm suspicious of anyone who says they don't like such treats (along with the weirdos who don't like chocolate). The quality of Chinese popsicles is often questionable, but what they lack in fine ingredients and hygiene, they make up for in flavor intrigue. You can find everything from taro to corn, green bean to hawthorn. One of the most popular flavors among locals is red bean, which also happens to be William's favorite. One of my Chinese friends explained to me that red bean is considered a "warm" food which helps neutralize the coldness of the ice, making such popsicles less harmful to the stomach.

There is a lot of concern over the temperature of foods and drinks, as well as if a food is considered "warm" or "cold" (this has nothing to do with actual temperature but relates to Chinese traditional medicine). We have been scolded, usually by strangers, for allowing William to eat popsicles and they are considered too cold for babies whose bodies are still weak. Those who are menstruating, recovering from an illness, or practicing zuo yuezi must also not indulge in cold desserts.

3. NEVER walk barefoot, especially if you are a woman.
This is a lesson I learned early on and has become one of the things I miss most about home. I look forward to the day I can kick off my shoes and walk barefoot through the soft grass during summer. I have been chastised for going about barefoot or even in socks in my home. I have been told I may catch a cold and that it may lead to stomach cancer in women. While I think it's total nonsense, I have put this on my list of "battles I rather not fight" (it's currently a very long list).

"Summer Sneakers" photo via taobao

Instead of going barefoot, most Chinese people purchase summer shoes. This is a concept I'm still a little foggy on. I always considered sandals to be my summer shoes and when I needed something with a bit more coverage and support, I'd wear my regular sneakers. While many Chinese people do wear sandals, it is also popular to buy a pair of "summer sneakers" which are lighter and more breathable than "winter sneakers." My husband nags me every summer to buy "summer sneakers" but I'm perfectly happy with the shoes I already have. He frets over my feet, claiming they will be too warm, but I manage to convince him that my feet really don't know the difference.

4. Use the air-conditioner sparingly and only if you are strong enough for it.
It gets very hot and incredibly humid in many parts of China during the summer. Despite it's reputation for being a cool respite for Beijingers, Chengde is also uncomfortably warm in July and August. I admit to letting my air-conditioner run all day, most days, during those two months. Last summer, however, our AC got a bit of a break and my CO2 foot print got ever slightly smaller. Come early July, despite us all being dripping in sweat by mid-morning, my mother-in-law was vehemently opposed to any AC usage. My husband and I would turn it on secretly on the days she didn't come over, but eventually it became so hot that we won her over. She agreed to using it sparingly. I'm under the impression that older Chinese believe air conditioning to be harmful, particularly when weaklings (such as babies) are exposed to it. I'm not sure what I think, but when the indoor temperature creeps near 30 degrees and all I can think about is how miserable I am, I'd rather just turn it on.

5. Shave your (baby's) head

Bald William with my friend, Marie

I put it off as long as I could, though I knew it was inevitable. . . the baby head shave. Many Chinese babies have their heads shaved as infants, as it is a widely held belief that shaving the head with allow the hair to come back in much fuller. In fact, I have one friend who claims her hair is thin and stringy (it's actually beautifully thick and lush, but there's no telling her that) because her mom failed to shave her hair off as a newborn. I compromised with my husband and mother-in-law, agreeing to William's first buzz cut after he turned one. Chinese toddlers, both male and female, usually sport a buzz during summer. I find it very odd, as American toddlers, even boys, rarely have shaved heads. But it's only hair and I can see how being without it during summer would be comfortable. Nevertheless, I was quite shocked to see William after his first haircut. It's been two months now and it is growing back nicely; my mother-in-law is very quick to point out how thick it is.

Do you have any tips for dealing with the heat?

Cultural Differences: Chinese in America

I enjoy reading about other people's experiences living as a foreigner in Asia, particularly in China. But so rarely do I get to hear about what it's like for Chinese people living in western countries. A few of my Chinese friends are currently living abroad and I love hearing their opinions and reactions to living life in the west. It makes me see my own culture in a whole new light. It sometimes even allows me to appreciate some aspects of western life I take for granted.

When Ming and I went to the US, back in 2007, some strange and funny things happened. The way Ming interpreted and saw the world was very different. I guess this can mostly be chalked up to different customs and culture in the US and China. I found some of this misunderstandings adorable but also enlightening. I thought I'd share three that I'll never forget.

1. Kissing
When we first arrived in the US, we stayed with a friend of ours, K, for a week. While at first glance, you might assume K is a born and breed American, you'd eventually realize she is not. Her family is from Hungary, where she was born and spent most of her childhood. Of course, many of their customs and habits are more Hungarian than American. For example, in Hungary, hellos and good-byes are accompanied by a two-cheeked kiss. K's family were naturally avid givers of the two-cheeked kiss and we quickly learned to play along, always meeting and greeting with lots of kisses.

Ming, security guard, M&M, and I in NYC; 2007

Fast-forward a week or two later, to when Ming was meeting my cousin, B. (Do you see where this is going?) He approached her, seemingly going for a hug, but before she knew what hit her, he gave her the two-cheeked kiss. She looked over at me in surprise and laughed, "So this must be how they do it in China?"

"No," I replied. "That's how they do it in Hungary."

I later explained to Ming that in the US, a handshake or hug is standard greeting procedure. In most circles, a kiss is reserved mostly for lovers, occasionally for parents or grandparents, but very rarely for your fiance's cousin.

2. Free Refills
When I first told Ming about free refills, he could hardly wrap his head around the idea. "So you can buy a drink and just keep refilling it? As many times as you want?"

"Yes, that's the idea," I confirmed.

us with Usingers sausages, downtown Milwaukee; 2007

"Why would anyone ever leave when they could sit and drink soda all day?" he asked in earnest.

I curled up my nose, "Because that's disgusting and most people have other things to do."

Once we arrived in the land of free refills, Ming had already gotten used to the idea. He was no longer that impressed. But he did usually go for a second cup of soda when the opportunity arose.

One day we went out to eat at a diner with my grandma. The waitress came around, asking if we'd like refills on any of our drinks.

"Oh, yes!" Ming told her. He then stood up and started following her behind the counter. I watched in amazement. Not sure what would be more awkward, shouting for him to come back or letting him fill up his own glass, I finally decided just to let him go. The waitress, who I probably have known since birth (my grandparents loved taking me to that diner), let him do his thing. I don't know if she was as flabbergasted as me or wanted to be polite.

When he came back, my grandma and I looked at each other. Who was going to explain this one?

"Um, Ming, when the soda fountain is behind the counter, you can't serve yourself. The waitress will do it for you. Customers can't go back there."

He took it in stride. He wasn't embarrassed. He was just happy to have his refill. It's all about the little things in life, right?

3. Stuck in the snow
Where I'm from in the US, it snows. It snows a lot. In the winter they have to fill up the parking lots of supermarkets with all the extra snow--there's nowhere else to put it. Everyone owns snow shovels, but many have snow blowers, some have snow plows. It is essentially to stock up early on salt. Snow tires and blankets are a good idea for the car. But even with the best preparations, bad things still happen. People get snowed into their homes, slip on sidewalks, and spin off the road. And when such a problem arises, you are almost guaranteed someone will help you, most often times a stranger passing by.

Nearly every winter, I have gotten my car stuck in the snow. It seems almost inevitable. And every time, someone took the time to stop and help me. One such situation occurred when I was out with Ming, downtown by the courthouse, getting our marriage license. We couldn't get out of our parking spot due to the snow. First a random woman stopped to help us, then a man joined her. Ming and the two passer-bys pushed the car while I hit the gas. Within seconds, we were freed from the parking spot. Easy enough, but something we couldn't have done alone. Ming hugged (thank goodness it wasn't a double-cheek kiss!) the man and the woman, thanking them before they walked away.

He got in the car, "How do you know them?" He asked.

"Know them? I don't know them. . . " I answered, a bit confused.

Then he looked confused. "So why did they help us?"

"Because that's what people here do," I explained.

It made me think. It was awfully kind that they stopped and helped us. Wisconsinites are nice.

Has anyone every made you see your habits or customs from a different viewpoint?
  

First First Birthday Bash: Zhua Zhou and Smash Cake

William's first birthday

Growing up, I didn't get a birthday party every year. In fact, I didn't get a birthday party most years. Now that I'm older, I get why my mom planned it this way. Birthday parties are a ton of work and if you aren't careful you will spend each year trying to outdo your last year's self while your children become less appreciative and more entitled. I've realized it's a slippery slope that may ultimately lead me to a nervous breakdown in a pile of crepe paper. No thanks.

Would you like some cake?

The situation in China is ideal for me, since birthdays aren't that big of a deal. As with Christmas, I am free to celebrate how I want. Ping has always gotten dinner, a few gifts, and a homemade cake for her big day. Nothing excessive. And I promised myself William's birthday would be equally as low-key. He's turning one for Pete's sake. It's not like he's going to remember it! This was all the practical side of me talking.

with mom

Then came out Mrs. Sentimental. . . . But he's turning one! This only happens once! And if we're really being honest, celebrating isn't really for his benefit, it's for ours. We deserve a cake and a couple of beers to celebrate that fact that we kept a tiny baby alive for twelve months without killing each other. So it was decided. Sentiment and beer won. First birthday festivities there would be, and not only that, they would happen twice. Such is the way in a country that can't decide which calendar to use--Gregorian (western calendar) or lunar.

First up, today, William's western birthday which I consider his Real Birthday (sssh, don't tell Chinese grandma). That falls, every year, on April 16th. Easy enough. But then there's his "Chinese birthday" which falls on the 17th day of the 3rd lunar month. Good luck figuring out when that is. I know this year it will fall sometime in May.

For his Real Birthday, we (I) decided to do a little East meets West. We were going to incorporate the centuries old Chinese tradition of zhua zhou (抓周, zhuā zhōu, meaning something along the lines of "first birthday grab") with the not-even-decade-old American tradition of the smash cake. Zhua zhou? Smash cake? For those unfamiliar, let me tell you more. . . .

William taking a break from zhua zhou

East: Zhua zhou is an ancient Chinese tradition that dates back to, well, I don't remember. As with pretty much everything in China, it has a long history that has evolved. In the past, zhua zhou was a big deal and believed to reveal an infant's personality traits and predict his future career. Today some people still do it, but just for fun. To practice zhua zhou, you set a number of select items in front of the baby, either on a tray or on the floor, and see which one he favors. Each item symbolizes a particular trait or career. William picked up many of the items, but he preferred the mandarin orange and a spoon. Much to his father's disappointment, he showed zero interest in money. But that's okay, because he still made a very wise decision in picking the mandarin. The Chinese word for mandarin orange (橘, jú) is a near-homophone for the word auspicious (吉, jí). Picking the orange is obviously very lucky. The spoon symbolizes a love for food and a possible career as a chef. For more information on zhua zhou, there is short but informative article here.
    

Cake and Smash Cake

West: Smash cake, I suppose it is pretty self-explanatory. You put a whole cake in front of your one-year-old baby and watch him smash it, smear it, and maybe even eat it. It's ridiculous and wasteful, but ultimately adorable. Plus, everyone's doing it these days. Some people buy elaborate cakes and hire photographers to choreograph the whole event. Though I would like to, I won't make fun of these people since I essentially did the same thing.

William's cakes were made by my incredibly talented friend, Miao Miao, who is the owner of Giraffe Cafe in Chengde. I gave her free creative reign over the cake decorating and she did not disappoint. The big cake (for the grown-ups to eat) features a horse banner, since William was born in the Year of the Horse. She also made a decorative William look-alike surrounded by gold ingots (元宝, yuánbǎo, a symbol of prosperity in China). Miao Miao also served as our photographer.

William's zhua zhou

William's Second First Birthday will be, as mentioned, in May. We won't be doing too much, most likely a lunch or dinner with family members which seems to be a pretty standard practice where we live. I hope to post some photos for that as well.

What about you? Do you celebrate any interesting birthday traditions? Have you ever celebrated a birthday in a foreign country?

cake smashing

  

Speaking up for elephants

Ming and I visited his cousin recently. On the table set a Buddhist-style necklace, somewhat similar in design to the one pictured below. I don't know much about this type of jewelery, but it's widely popular around China, particularly with men. My husband generally doesn't wear this sort of thing, but he likes holding it and turning it round through his hands, like one might do with a rosary. These sorts of necklaces and bracelets can be made out of anything from cheap plastic beads to jade to walnuts (the Chinese seem to have a national obsession with decorative walnuts). Unless you are familiar with them, it can be hard to judge the value of such an item by looking at it. Personally, I can't tell the different between a 10 yuan (US$1.50) bracelet or a 10,000 yuan one. Anyways, it's not really my style. But Ming holds a keen interest.

photo via Taobao

"Is this made from real elephant tusk?" he asked his cousin, upon spotting the necklace which was made most of dark beads but featured a large ivory colored piece.

"Uh, no, that thing only cost 30 yuan," he admitted sheepishly.

"My co-worker got one in Thailand, made from real tusks," Ming said, as if boasting on behalf of his colleague.

I inwardly cringed. I hate this sort of thing. I really do. I'm not usually one to take a hardline stance on issues. I like to fence-sit, play diplomat, see both sides. Not only that, I do readily admit, I am a carnivore. I also have no qualms with people hunting (deer hunting is a rite of passage where I'm from). But when it comes to the killing of exotic or endangered animals for decoration, medicines, or show-offy menu items (shark fin soup, anyone?), my blood kinda boils. I had to speak up.

"People shouldn't buy that sort of thing, they have no quality of character!" I exclaimed quite suddenly, passionately. All eyes turned to me.

"Well, if it's just one person, it's not such a big of a deal," Ming's cousin reasoned.

"But the problem is everyone has that thinking. And one person becomes all of China," I explained, "The African elephant is killed all the time for its tusks. At this rate, soon none will be left."

The room went silent. I don't know if I stunned them with my sudden outburst, but I didn't care. The discomfort in the room was better than me saying nothing. After we left, I asked Ming if he thought I offended them.

"I don't know," he replied, "but you were right in what you said." He put his arm around me.

I know it takes a long time to change people's mindsets. Issues like these, that some people actually dedicate much of their time and energy to, seem odd and pointless to many Chinese. What does it matter? They are just animals. What can I do about it anyways? I am just one person. But things are changing. I know they are. When I talked to some of my teenage students, I can hear the concern in their voices. They worry about the environment and wildlife. In Beijing, I have also spotted ads by International Fund for Animal Welfare, trying to get the message out to the masses. Here's one such ad:  

photo via 163.com

The top four characters, which aren't fully written and seem to be splattered with blood, are "Elephants, Tigers, Bears, Humans." Under the characters, it asks, "If elephants are without tusks, tigers are without bones, bears are without gallbladders, what are humans without? Humanity?" It then urges people to say "no" to buying of such wildlife products. Putting this sort of message out it the first step in getting people to think, to talk about wildlife protection and preservation. And it does it much more eloquently than my diatribes--hopefully soon there will be little need for them.

What about you, are there any issues that you feel passionate about? Are there any practices you've witnessed in other countries that bother you?

Having a Baby in China: One Year Later

William on his birth day.

William is just a week away from turning one. While I'm somewhat ashamed to admit it, there were times when I longed for this. I couldn't wait for him to get a little bit older, a little bit stronger, a little bit more independent. The past few months, I let go of that feeling. I've enjoyed him as he is, not too expectant of the future. Time really has gone by quickly. The past year has been hard though, perhaps the most difficult of my life. I knew being a mother would be challenging and it is, but the true challenge has been adapting to motherhood while living in China. I have learned a lot. Here are some of the things I've learned:

1. I'm not as open minded as I thought I was.
Admittedly, I was somewhat aware of this fact coming in. I knew I wouldn't be open to do everything The Chinese Way. I still struggle with this one. Does that make me closed-minded? Or does it just make me human? It doesn't matter, if I hear the phrase "When in Rome. . ." one more time, I might strangle someone.

William, 100 days

I have compromised on some issues, such as allowing William to drink water from birth (a Chinese practice that is not supported by western doctors). I attempted postpartum confinement. I haven't been so keen on split-seamed pants and spoon feeding Prince William his every meal. I have been downright skeptical, even hostile, towards Chinese doctors and medicines, as many of their claims seem bogus. I maintain that my son did not have diarrhea from my breast milk (tainted from my drinking of cold beverages). He did not break out in hives because he was left "crying too much." I could write at length about my frustrations with the Chinese medical system, but I rather not dwell too long on that.

2. Nothing goes as expected.
This is a given when living in China. It's also a given when raising kids, especially small ones. Put the two together and unless you have the patience of a saint, there may be times you'll be ripping your hair out. For better or worse, William's birth was nothing like I had imagined. Preparing for our trip to America was not without difficulty. But there were also times when things went surprisingly well, like when arranging his household registration, getting him vaccinated, and taking his portrait.

William, 4 months.

3. My Chinese may never be good enough.
I think some of my struggles stem from the fact that I don't fully appreciate or understand traditional Chinese culture and thinking (a problem even modern Chinese have), but it's also a language issue. Living in a small city, I don't have the luxury of western hospitals or English speaking doctors. My mother-in-law knows four words in English (hello, no, out, banana) and even my husband's English is lacking, especially when it comes to baby and medical related vocab. I've tried my best, fumbling by, now knowing Chinese words for things such as placenta, polio, episiotomy, and pacifier (there is a pretty extensive list of pregnancy related vocab that can be found here). But it's still never enough. I always feel like the language is passing over me, leaving me in the dust. I suppose one day the kids will be fluent enough that they can help smooth out some of the gaps.

4. My relationship with my mother-in-law is a precarious thing. 

William, 6 months

I've said it before and I will say it again, my mother-in-law is a great woman (despite using the phrase, "When in Rome. . ." a few too many times). She was never around much before the baby was born, but with his arrival I've spent countless hours with her. We have very different parenting styles. She is a helicopter (grand)parent, while I'm more of a free-ranger. While she has the best of intentions, I am, at times, overwhelmed by her constant hoovering and pampering. In some of my weaker and uglier moments, I have lost my temper. I may have even done some yelling (you might too if you weren't allowed cold food or drink, chocolates, or coffee for months on end). I think the situation is improving as William is getting older, but I still find myself having to bite my tongue daily.

5. Everything I thought was normal, is seen as weird or wrong.
 Breast pumps? High chairs? Disposable diapers? Frivolous crazy talk.

Letting the baby crawl around? Letting him put something, anything in his mouth?   Letting him eat with his hands? The insanity! That's not sanitary!

Allowing him to cry, to fall, to feel the slightest bit of discomfort? You can't be serious.

6. What homesickness really feels like
It was never that hard for me to be away from US. . . until it was. Feeling homesick was completely unexpected and a feeling that I haven't fully been able to shake this past year. I am, in some ways, grateful for it. Now I feel more confident that we are nearing the right time for us to leave China. 

William, 9 months

7. We are celebrities
For many foreigners, being showered with attention is not uncommon in China. Some people bask in the limelight, others would rather just blend in with the crowd. Myself, it depends on my mood. But strangers don't care about my mood. I might be out, having My Worst China Day Ever and people will freely comment on how my son is under dressed. We may be chased down and asked if we are Russian. A crowd may gather around us, pointing, commenting, and asking questions. I try to take it in stride. Sometimes their interest makes me happy, as the alternative could just as easily be contempt. There are those who hate seeing foreigners, people who despise mixed race families. Fortunately, these types of people are very rarely found in China. Most Chinese adore children and are particularly curious about foreign or mixed raced ones.

As a final note:
To anyone reading this who is planning on having or raising kids in China, be prepared for challenges, some obvious, others may be less so. Try to be patient with yourself and with your partner. If you can, try to learn a little bit about the culture and whatever you can manage with the language. Be realistic with your expectations and be honest with yourself--what customs and beliefs are you willing to compromise on and what is non-negotiable? My situation and struggles may be vastly different from yours. If I were an American man married to a Chinese woman, living in Beijing, I probably would have a total different experience raising my kids in China. But no matter what, it's an adventure!

Are you raising your kids abroad? Or is it something you would ever consider doing?  
 

William, nearly 12 months